Hippies of all types, ages and salaries descend upon Chicago this weekend to watch the Grateful Dead perform their final three concerts ever.  With the historic band finally on the way out after 50 amazing years, I couldn’t help but come up with 5 reasons to be grateful the Grateful Dead are finally dead.

#5

“Come hear Uncle John’s Band” will finally stop being a lyric and start being an obligation.

 #4

From now on, “Tie Dye” will only be a term that describes a movement in 2019 to dress down corporate attire.

#3

“Touch of Grey” will no longer be a terrible song, but just a great way to describe what happened to Jorah Mormont on Season 5 of Game of Thrones.

 #2

The term “Dead Head” can now solely be used to describe a terrible blowjob.

#1

Anyone struggling to explain situational irony can now just refer to the time that a band that was so vehemently anti-war played its final show at a place called "Soldier Field."

 Tanner Tananbaum (@therealtanner88) is a member of The Second City Touring Company.