How Buddie the Marijuana Mascot Can Still Save Ohio

Ohio could use a superhero.

And with “Buddie,” it almost had one. Buddie, the marijuana bud dressed in a cape and tights who toured Ohio in support of the state’s ballot initiative to legalize weed, gave Ohioans a lot to believe in. Legalization of a drug that lands too many nonviolent offenders in jail, stimulation to the fast-food economy, and a hero who smokes weed!

But with Ohio’s legalization initiative being shot down by voters on Tuesday, Buddie’s career could use a boost.

Here are a few ideas about how Buddie could ramp up his image to become a real hero.

Stop Bad Media Puns About Marijuana

The scene: Late night, 20 minutes from deadline at Cleveland’s newspaper The Plain Dealer.  Rookie reporter Ricky Olsen bangs out an article on a 2009 Dell about a recent marijuana legalization demonstration, pushing aside the voice in his head that tells him he should be earning more than $13 an hour with his degree from the University of Cincinnati. Eager to lay his tired head on his Craigslist mattress, he hammers out a headline:

Marijuana legalization initiative a hit, or up in smoke?

In rushes Buddie to save the day. He steps up to the keyboard and types: “Pro-marijuana advocates protest outside City Hall.” Look, a headline that explains what happened without any bad marijuana puns! People believe in journalism again!

Keep the Dregs of Comic-Fan Culture Too High to Troll the Internet

Could Buddie be the superhero that trolls can finally believe in?  We can only hope!

Make Dayton Interesting

Look, Dayton’s not bad. It’s got Mike-sells potato chips. It’s got Kim Deal. It just needs some sprucing up so it doesn’t look like Brutalism yawned and fell asleep. Buddie, get a Dayton city planner high enough to find the inspiration to make Dayton just a little prettier.

Help Thad Matta Win a NCAA Championship

When it comes to the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, Thad Matta is always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Ohio State has made the NCAA finals all but two of the seasons under Matta’s 11-year tenure. But they haven’t won a championship since 1960. What gives? Maybe Matta just needs that extra push from an altered perception…

And speaking of basketball, we all know the real way to become Ohio’s true hero is…

Defeat LeBron James in a One-on-One Basketball Game

To earn his chops, he’d have to defeat King James, right?

Amanda Lowry is a graduate of The Second City’s Writing Program and a stand-up comic living in Chicago.