5 Cars at the Chicago Auto Show Your Broke Self Will Never Be Able to Afford

The 2016 Chicago Auto Show--the nation's biggest--is GEARING UP for its last weekend.  Ahhh....that special time of year when auto enthusiasts can experience the pure joy of looking at cars that are painfully out of their price range. Here are our top 5 picks!

2016 Ford GT40

Pricing TBD, 2015 model started at $400,000

This legendary dream ride was designed to beat Ferrari at the 24 Hours of Le Mans race (which it did, several times). It features a full carbon-fiber body, which is great for cars—  but being that lightweight is not so great for your body. If you're broke, then the sizable amount of dough required to purchase this ride could also supply you with over 390,000 instant soup bowls from Trader Joe’s. That's like soup for life! Actually, soup for four lifetimes! That garlic one is especially delicious, and if you need to cut calories, just don't add the oil packet.

2017 Chevy Camaro 1LE

Pricing TBD, 2016 model started at $36,300

Now some of you might be saying, “I could pay my rent for almost three years with that kind of money.” To that, I say, sure…but I bet your apartment doesn't come with 20-inch forged aluminum wheels and Recaro racing seats.

2017 Toyota Tacoma TRD Pro

Pricing TBD, 2015 model started at $38,000

The “TTTP,” as no one refers to it, is the go-to if you're a person who is into big trucks. With upgraded shocks and and Kevlar-reinforced tires (good luck shooting those suckers out!), this beast is just begging to get into off-road trouble! But if you hurt yourself while doing so, you might wish you’d spent that money on about 16 years of mid-range medical insurance instead. But that's not nearly as gnarly, brah!

2016 BMW i3

Starting at $42,400

Electric vehicles are all the rage right now, and saving the environment is pretty cool, too! What better way to say, "I give a crap about polar bears”? You can feel good about plugging this ultra-luxurious vehicle in every night and letting coal-burning power plants recharge your zero-emission car. The only catch is that $46,000 could cover your electric bill for up to 20 years. Yowza! It’s cool; just run an extension cord over to your neighbor’s outlet. I’m sure Jerry won’t mind.

Any of the XFINITY “Future of Awesome" Concept Cars

Pricing ?????

These vehicles represent the “what if?” of the automotive industry. They are literally priceless, because they literally do not exist. You could funnel limitless amounts of cash into one of these prototypes with no guarantee that it will ever materialize. Instead, consider pouring your meager funds into a Comcast XFINITY cable and Internet package. You’ll get up to 10 years of service that may not materialize or remotely satisfy, but hey, at least you can stream Netflix….usually.

There you have it. The best cars your money won’t buy. But don’t feel bad about it. We all know the Auto Show is about hopping into your dream car, feeling up the steering wheel, and then taking the bus back home.

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Greg Komorowski is a Toronto born and raised performer currently residing in Chicago. He worked with Second City at Sea for over 5 years and teaches at The Second City Training Centre. Greg is also the host of “Chef In Your Ear” on The Food Network Canada.