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by Michael Phelps, 21-Time Olympic Gold Medal Champion
- Roll a joint
- Roll a blunt
- Pack a bowl
- Smoke a pipe
- Smoke a bong
- Smoke a hookah
- Smoke a pen
- Vape
- Shotgun someone else’s hit
- Eat a gummy
- Eat a brownie
- Eat a cookie
- Eat a mint
- Eat chocolate
- Chew gum
- Drink coffee
- Use ChapStick
- Take a bath
- Use massage oil
- Apply some balm
- Go to Disneyland
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Lindsey Finn (@LindseyMFinn) is a Chicago freelance writer and performer. She can be seen regularly at the Annoyance Theatre.
