We, the Second Amendment People, Know That Can't Possibly Be What Donald Trump Meant

Donald Trump recently made headlines earlier this week with his comment that the only group of human beings who would be able to stop Hillary Clinton from appointing anti-gun Supreme Court Justices are “the Second Amendment people.”

Now, most folks believe that Future President Business was calling on gun owners to act violently towards Clinton, but as with most stories that come from the left-wing media, this is not the case. Here’s why we, the aforementioned Second Amendment people, are pretty sure that’s not what Trump actually meant.

The Second Amendment clearly states that the American people can form a militia that shall not be infringed upon.

All Trump is suggesting is we can gather up our guns and sit together. That’s it! We’re just going to form a line, guns in hand, and stare at Clinton until she realizes that what she’s doing is wrong.

People with guns can’t harm other people

Some are suggesting that Trump implied harm should be caused to Clinton, which is insane, because that’s not what guns are for. They’re for hunting and home protection. How would someone even stop a politician with a gun? Shoot the legislative process out of their hands? Come on!

The Secret Service would already be all over it

A yuuuge part of this controversy is that if anyone else had made a similar, potentially threatening comment to a presidential candidate, the Secret Service would have acted swiftly. In fact, a former NSA director noted that had this been an ordinary American citizen, Trump would have been “in the back of a police wagon.” It must not have been that big of a deal if the worst thing the Secret Service would do is give Trump a standard end to a Friday night on Bourbon Street.

Liberals don’t know how to laugh

Mr. Trump’s former campaign manager insists Trump was just making “a joke.” See? All of this uproar is because liberals don’t understand comedy! Conservatives, on the other hand, have always been known for their humor: Dennis Miller, Larry the Cable Guy and John Boehner are all Republicans you can laugh at.  Trump can just add this hilarious take on the Second Amendment to his routine... which already includes funny takes on:

• Obama’s citizenship
• Arianna Huffington’s attractiveness
• Calling Mexicans criminals and rapists who are going to build him a wall
• Rosie O’Donnell’s attractiveness
• Referring to 9/11 as “7/11”
• Melania Trump’s attractiveness
• And, like any great comedian, an extended bit on his penis size

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Scott Morehead (@MoreMorehead) is currently an ensemble member performing in the The Second City's 40th e.t.c revue A Red Line Runs Through It.