A Modest Refusal: It’s Time to End General Presidential Elections

In 2016, most people hate their choices for president. Both candidates from the two major parties have disapproval ratings well over 50 percent, so it’s clear that overall, America will not like its new leader.

This makes perfect sense, as there is absolutely nothing that most people like.

Allowing the entire population of the U.S. to vote for president may have been a good idea at one point, but I believe its clear that it’s no longer feasible.

We live in a generation that wants to leave groups, whether it be organized religion, international governing bodies or social media sites that feature too many dissenting voices. Pick the movie with the highest box office total, and I guarantee you can find tens of thousands of online postings declaring it the worst piece of garbage to ever waste the talents of Jennifer Lawrence (who is also terribly overrated).

We don’t even watch television together anymore.

Thanks to streaming services, nobody is on the same episode. Instead of discussing the latest developments in the Ross and Rachel affair the day after Must-See TV, coworkers demand complete silence so as not to hear spoilers from jerks who have their own "House of Cards" schedules. Once viewed, people can read reviews from users who already agree with them or are wrong.

Of course we can’t all decide on a mutual representative for the entire US.

Many feel that a leader who doesn’t share their gender or skin tone could never understand their lives (which is why white men are hesitant to give up this advantage). Someone may not vote for an individual who doesn’t know the proper LGBT terminology or can’t name the capitals of the countries currently threatening us. Others may disqualify the opinions of those with too much money or too little; a lack of interest in country music; or a need to quote Conway Twitty at campaign speeches.

Netflix can use my viewing history to create a list of dark sci-fi comedies featuring a strong female lead. Why can’t the government--the organization that should be most responsible for my needs--provide a list of candidates just as particular?

A new environment calls for a new form of election. Asking everyone to choose one person they all like is a pipe dream that even high schools can’t achieve. We shouldn’t force people to leave their bubbles, we should cater to them. Let people vote for the stuff that appeals to them. Instead of having a general election for president, we should have a bunch of elections based on interest.

Let the NRA choose the Secretary of Defense. Ivy league liberals can choose a Secretary of Education. Young groups can vote for marijuana laws, and older audiences can decide social security. If we’re smart, we’ll place Hispanics in charge of labor laws and give Black mothers the ability to elect judicial positions.

People aren’t going to do actual research before an election, so let them make decisions based on the topics they’re already well acquainted with. It’s the only way to get an informed voting body. We must start ignoring the decisions that affect our fellow citizens in the Casually-Acquainted States of America. I don’t care what farmers or small business owners need, just tell me when my student loans will be forgiven.

The president then would be chosen by people who recognize all points of view. Individuals who understand the stock market and a family shopping list. Who have read both “The New Jim Crow” and “Faith of Our Fathers.” Somebody who listens to NPR while loading their hunting rifle on their way to teach Native American history to inner-city kids.

So far, there is only one person who falls into this description; her name is Helen. And she can’t get the day off to vote.

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C.J. Tuor is currently at sea performing with Second City Theatricals.