‘La La Land’ Was Really Snubbed With Just Those 14 Oscar Nominations

First off, let’s give the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences a well-deserved standing ovation. This year, seven actors of color were nominated for Oscars, thereby solving Hollywood’s diversity problem forever. Brava!

But in other areas, the Academy continues to lumber along towards irrelevance. Case in point: “La La Land”’s paltry fourteen Oscar nominations. Yes, I know! Only fourteen. The sugary-sweet tribute to the City of Angels is everything old, white moviegoers (which, let’s face it, is most of the Academy) love, and it’s a crime that this cinematic masterpiece did not earn a nomination in every single Oscar category available.

Here are some of “La La Land”’s most baffling snubs:

Documentary (Feature)

What a travesty! Though the whimsical musical fantasy may not be technically a documentary, there’s nothing more true to life than a brooding white guy mansplaining jazz to the world. If this is not cinéma vérité, then art is truly dead, my friends, whether or not the National Endowment for the Arts is cancelled.

Animated Feature Film

While “La La Land” isn’t explicitly an animated feature, there is some animation, and it’s definitely a feature film. Frankly, if the Academy gives one more award to big-eyed animals or precocious neuroses, I’m going to be sick. Give big-eyed Stones and precocious Goslings a turn for once.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) 

Sure, it’s nominated for Writing (Original Screenplay), but that shouldn’t disqualify it from this category, too. After all, the film is a direct adaptation of the hopes and dreams of so many guys who hang out at the Green Mill sipping bourbon cocktails, hoping to impress a girl with their love of sexy jazz and wingtip shoes they bought at DSW.

Foreign Language Film 

“La La Land” was over-la-la-looked in this category, even though the film is written in the language of jazz--the sexiest, most passionate dialect to have ever existed, according to the film’s protagonist. Enough. The Academy has honored films written in “languages” with “words” for far too long. It’s time for to progress beyond traditional notions of grammar and letters and clear communication, as many of our government leaders have chosen to do.

Plenty of other films released over the last year have confronted racism, homophobia, cycles of violence and loss in beautiful, heart-wrenching detail, but it’s high time we gave a fluffy, longish and perfectly fine movie all of the Oscars. Cheers to making the Academy great again.

This post also appears at redeyechicago.com

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Jessica Besser-Rosenberg (@JessGBR) is a Chicago-based writer, improviser and stand-up comedian.