Improv Games Sean Spicer Would Probably Really Get A Kick Out Of

Improv games the White House Press Secretary would slay. Period.

Scene Painting

Verbally describing things that exist within the improvised space to paint a rich, vivid scene

Called “alternative facts” by the current administration, scene painting would come in handy when you have to kick off a press conference with fabrications of the truth, making it difficult to keep things subtle. Just throw the book out the window, Seanny-Boy, and paint a picture of what’s “alternatively” happening in your world. “Woooosh! Can I get a suggestion of a number? I heard two million! We take you to Washington, where two million Trump fanatics are chanting for our new president. It's a perfectly sunny day, and no one is asking about taxes!”

Sex With Me Is Like...

A ‘spicy’ game of innuendo

Those enraged outbursts about the media can now be an extravagant game of “Sex With Spicer.” It’s easy! “Sex with Spicer is like the liberal media bias; he claims it happens all the time, but in reality, it's fairly nonexistent.”

New Choice

Make us a bigly new offer

This one would work great, Sean, every time you have to cover up something horrible Trump says. Just scream out “new choice” to the president, like this!

“If Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her.”

*NEW CHOICE*

“I am going to be dating [that prepubescent child on an elevator] in 10 years. Can you believe it?”

*NEW CHOICE*

"When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything …Grab them by the pussy…You can do anything."

“Mmmkay, let’s just call ‘scene.’”

Party Quirks

Where pure hilarity and sheer terror overlap

Spicer kicking cameras out of his daily press briefings can now just be an elaborate game of Party Quirks. “Okay, so I'm going to send all of the press out of the room where they can't hear or see anything. All the cameras have to leave. Everyone go.” Then, after everyone exits, he loudly weeps as his integrity spills all over the floor. You guessed it--that's the party, and that's his quirk. Everyone loses this one.

Just Maybe A Basic Understanding Of The Concept Of Satire

Ya think?

Sean, did you know The Second City Training Center offers a plethora of classes on satire? Because satire is a thing. Remember how you just retweeted that video from “The Onion” along with the message, “You nailed it! Period!”? That was a pretty clear indication you have no idea “The Onion” is a satirical news site. Take a class on satirical writing. We even offer them online, so you can do it from anywhere. Even your closest Dippin’ Dots location.

Oh, we've dipped into some deep shit, haven't we?

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Martin Morrow (@martinMmorrow) is an ensemble member in The Second City’s 105th Mainstage revue The Winner…Of Our Discontent.