G is for 'Goodbye, Humans'

Google's announcement that it will now exist under the umbrella of new holding company Alphabet is the tech giant's latest push towards rendering humans obsolete. This evil empire with the deceptively benign font will distribute its power into independent sub-kingdoms Game of Thrones-style with one unified purpose:

World domination by the eradication of the human species.

Don’t believe it? Aside from the fact they’ve already changed their ticker symbol from GOOG to DEATH, here’s a closer look at what each letter of the new 'alphabet' stands for.

A – Apocalypse

B – Bad news

C – Cataclysmic event

D – Decimation (of the human population)

E – End of the world

F – Fall out

G – Google "It's time to die"

H – Holocaust

I – Impending doom

J – Justice is served

K – Kill all humans

L – Lethal

M- Mass extinction

N – Nullification of human rights

O – Obliterate

P – Pray

Q – Quick death

R – Raze

S – Skynet (but for real)

T – Termination

U – Ultimatum

V – Vendetta

W – Wipe out (or 'War', depending on if you ask Larry Page or Sergey Brin)

X – #X all humans

Y – Yield before us

Z - Zeitgeist

Ryan Nallen is an actor, writer and improviser in Chicago. He is a graduate of iO, The Second City Conservatory and the Annoyance Theater.