Let's Talk About Your Kid's Halloween Costume

Happy Halloween, Mom and Dad!

Remember Halloween? The holiday when you would proudly don your coolest pop culture reference costume, meet your friends for a festive bar crawl, and then wake up--a mass of unwashed make-up and some kind of purple liqueur? Well, congratulations. This holiday, like your birthday, is no longer about you. Now that you have kids, you have a lot of choices to make. And those choices will likely end up on Facebook, Instagram, and in Grandma’s annual holiday newsletter to your great aunt without internet. So choose wisely! Let's talk about the dos and don'ts...

DO: Leverage your child’s interests

All the recent internet attention on parents who let their girls dress as Captain America and their boys as Elsa remind us that it really is about what your kids love. You may think it’s hilarious to make your four kids the Golden Girls (and it is), but unless they’ve recently binge-watched the classic sitcom, keep your bits to yourself, mom and dad. Let their point of view be the focus, and if you’re the cool parent you think you are, that POV will translate into an awesome Vampire Princess Leia or Zombie Doctor Who. Plus, you don’t want to make the call on which of your daughters makes the best Blanche.

DON’T: Do a couples’ costume with your kid

Along the lines of casting your girl as a 65-year-old walking sex joke, tread lightly when casting yourself as your child’s love interest. Sure, there is a momentary “aw” when you see a dad as Romeo with his little Juliet. But fellow candy-seekers will inevitably play out the story in their heads, and judgement will follow. This goes quadruple for any ill-advised non-fiction pairings: Kanye/Kim, Brad/Angie, or Kody and all four Sister Wives. It’s not cute.

DO: Keep it simple 

You ever tried to keep regular clothes on a three-year-old? Now try keeping a handmade, leaf-adorned Groot suit on them while they run through the streets, tearing into melted fun-size Snickers. Sure, Rapunzel’s hair, Tink’s pixie dust and Spidey’s webs are fancy touches on your kid’s costume. But you will high-five yourself on November 1st when you’re not picking individual glitter bits and micro-string off all your surfaces. This is Halloween, not a soundstage. Although it *is* totally worth it to teach your kid the proper delivery of “I am Groot.” Character wins over flash every time.

DON’T: Blow your kid’s college fund on this costume

Yes, it’s exciting, especially as a first-time parent, to go all out on Halloween (see aforementioned glitter bits). I promise your worth as a caregiver will not be measured by how long you spent researching the different iterations of Iron Man before crafting the best possible Mark III replica. That gold titanium alloy ain’t cheap. Your online photo presence makes this even more tempting. If nothing else, remember that Halloween is merely the tip of seasonal iceberg. You are just beginning on the photo trail of turkeys and Santas and twinkle lights and gifts that will do more than enough damage to your checking account. Remember the reason for the Halloween season. Candy. Huge, bargain bags of candy.

DO: Have fun

Those adorable photos can feel like the endgame. And yes, you can show your kids when they are older to prove that you (and they) had a sense of humor once upon a time, before they hit puberty. But remember all the other big moments that come from these early Halloweens. The first time you force your kid to trespass on a neighbor’s property to ask for sugar products; the first time you give your toddler a Sour Patch Kid when he doesn’t know what “sour” means; the first time your daughter sings "Let It Go" in an appropriate context. Let them do what feels fun instead of what keeps your impressive handiwork intact. Go easy on the leaves, Groot parents. You know they will just get accidentally downed in a flurry of Reese’s Pieces.

DON’T: Dress your kid as a Kardashian/Jenner.

Ever.

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Natalie Shipman is a Second City Touring Company alum and former Training Center faculty member. She now resides in Las Vegas, NV where she performs and teaches improv with the Vegas Theatre Hub and stays home with kids.