8 Ways Pancakes Totally Have It Better Than Women

Here’s a fun fact: today is International Women’s Day! That’s 24 hours dedicated to celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women.

Here’s another fun fact: It’s also National Pancake Day! On the one day focused on the collective group of contributing members of society that make up over half the population, just as much press is going to my favorite hangover breakfast.

In honor of this insane pancake marketing snafu happy coincidence, let’s consider these eight ways that pancakes have it better than us ladies, today and every day.

1. It takes 20 minutes to make pancakes. It takes 388,800 minutes to make (gestate) a human baby.

2. The Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity Pancakes at IHOP have been described by consumer reviewers as “light...and I was able to eat all four of them without that heavy feeling some pancakes can give me.” Just last month, an actual Twitter user posted, “I hate Kim Kardashian pregnant. Such an ugly fat asshole.” She isn’t even pregnant anymore.

3. Pancakes are made up of 80% flour. Women make up 37% of all MBAs, but only 8.1% of top earners. There isn't really a correlation, but I have a point to make.

4. On the campaign trail last fall, Donald Trump attended a jovial and delicious “pancakes and politics” town hall meeting with voters in New Hampshire. In his 2005 book “TrumpNation: The Art of Being The Donald” he wrote, “My favorite part [of “Pulp Fiction”] is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: 'Bitch be cool.' I love those lines.” So that’s fun!

5. There are 36 IHOP locations within 50 miles of Chicago. There are 30 Fortune 500 companies based in the Chicago area. Women make up less than 5% of Fortune 500 CEOs. So by the numbers, there are 24 times the number of pancake houses as female CEOs in Chicago. The moral: it’s way easier to get a pancake than to get a lady in charge.

6. The pancake has been featured in cookbooks dating as far back as 1439. 577 years later, we still haven’t had a female President of the United States.

7. Pancakes are topped with syrup. Women are topped by men in average annual earnings by 30%.

8. Pancakes are food. Women are people. Both get an equally trending hashtag.

*Note: Research for this list was done via Google. If you want to check my facts, feel free. If you’d rather do something to prove that women are more important than pancakes, let’s talk about Second City Works’ brand new leadership program, 2095 Today.

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Becca Stahl is Content Development Manager at Second City Works.