Pull Off the Ultimate House Floor Flash Mob!

It’s a beautiful niiiiight! We’re looking for something dumb to do… Hey, baby! I think I’m gonna stage a sit-in on the United States of America’s House floor to protest the NRA’s control over an inactive, predominately Republican Senate that fails to make any progress on the issue of common sense gun control laws, especially right after a nearly fifteen-hour filibuster was held on the same issue, conducted hot on the heels of one of the most fatal mass public shootings in our nation’s modern history!

Though not as romantically inclined, the House Dem sit-in is a lot like a good old fashioned flash mob. And when a governmental body’s flash mob wants to dance in the face of the NRA’s actual mob, it’s got to have a super-stealthy plan of attack for maximum replay on social media in the morning.

Lead with a secret weapon

Shh! The best part about a flash mob is the element of surprise. Having an experienced person to pull the trigger is key. It has to be organized-yet-spontaneous. Chaotic-yet-controlled. Lead right…and yet, lean left. Enter ultimate sit-in expert, Rep. John Lewis of Georgia. He’s had more experience “sitting in” than J.D. Salinger, and he was a certified recluse.

John Lewis has taken part in peaceful protests since 1959. He organized demonstrations in Nashville, got his skull fractured leading the march from Selma to Montgomery (aka “Bloody Sunday”), and received the Presidential Medal of Freedom. He’s even been listed on America’s own no-Fly list! (Sure, that was a “mistake.”) This guy knows a little something about assembly and staying power, which is completely necessary when taking on NRA-backed civil servants. Get your flash mob game on Lewis level, and you’ll be the talk of the town! In this case, the town is Washington, D.C., so you’ll actually be the talk of Planet Earth. Everyone is watching.

Get your ammunition in formation

Flash mobs burn a lot of calories. Be sure your squad is well-fed before assembling for a however-long-it’ll-take sit-in. In this case, the Democrats have *another* NRA to aid in this matter: the National Restaurant Association. (How did they both get to keep those initials?) That NRA has a whole arsenal of food options to keep Dems cocked. Because nobody wants to break up the choreo on account of Nancy Pelosi getting snacky.

‘Scope it out

Just in case the offer of meals, reels and nation-feels makes the regular camera op bail, be sure to have your committed mobbers download Periscope to ensure that the revolution will be televised. You don’t want to miss a moment. Unless you’re Paul Ryan. Then you will miss every single moment on purpose. Because you cut the feed to C-SPAN.

Be on the right side of FOMO

Use Twitter to gather everyone together using a feel-good hashtag, like #NoBillNoBreak. Publicly sharing and calling your friends over to take part in the action is a primo way to show the world how lively your assembly is! Make a list of everyone who’s taking part, and it’ll make everyone who didn’t accept the invite have their own personal soul sit-in, leading them to recognize their own Fear Of Missing Out when it comes to being on the right side of history.

Will you marry my legislation?

Like any high-stakes flash mob, be sure to involve a proposal! In this case, the Democrats didn’t go to Jared— they’re proposing common sense gun control laws to the Republicans. Like a Southern Belle with an abundance of gentlemen callers, many Republicans senators have already declined the Democrats’ first proposal. But the Democrats are not yet deflated. Hopefully, this sit-in will melt the nay-sayers’ hearts (and NRA’s coins in their pockets), and we’ll all collectively cheese on the video with the fondest of memories soon.

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Atra Asdou is a writer/actor/improvisor from Chicago. She is an alumna of The Second City Training Center and iO Chicago, where she's on the Harold team LIL' TOOTIES. Follow her on Twitter @AtraAsdou.