Our Legacy 
Don't let Assistant Manager Phil-zilla claim another victim...
Whatcha gonna do with those boring three hours a week you spend unconsumed by football?
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Mr. Trump, Let's Examine Canada's Healthcare Hellscape, Shall We?
Canada's free medical services would benefit Trump, from dermatology to treat his orangeness to experimental hand enlargement surgery.
Coming Out on Social Media for Maximum Likes, Loves and Wows
In extreme cases, some people won't even react to your announcement for a whole three hours.
America Disowns Christopher Columbus After Embarrassing Hot Mic Incident
It might be time to cancel Columbus Day.
Five Other Times I Temporarily Boycotted Ben & Jerry’s Forever
This isn’t Ben & Jerry’s first time mixing politics into their ice cream...
Stress-Eat Your Way Through the Rest of This Election Madness
Cheetos Chicken Fries are actually Donald Trump in fast food form.
Wait, Why Am I Only Represented On TV 90% of the Time?
I don’t want to have to worry about not seeing enough people like myself represented in pop culture whatsoever--it’s not fair.
LeBron James Endorsed Hillary Clinton, and the Cleveland Browns Have a Rebuttal
As our loyal fans understand, you don’t pick your favorites based on if they’re ever, EVER going to win.
Derrick Rose: What We Lost
Rose doesn’t know the meaning of the word “adversity,” much like he did not know the meaning of the word “consent" at his deposition.
