Here's What the New Post-Brexit Episodes of ‘Doctor Who’ Will Be All About

“Doctor Who” has been on television since 1963, while the UK has been a member of the European Community since 1973. Recently, the world discovered that the people of Great Britain find the concept of an alien traveling through space and time in a police box easier to believe in than “united through diversity,” as we all anxiously anticipate the new season of “Doctor Who.”

The sci-fi cult fave often tackles real world fears (like nuclear war and mannequins that come to life), so filming of the latest episodes has been pushed back to include conflicts from a post-Brexit world. Here are some leaked storylines that show how the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) will fair in modern British politics.

Episode 1: “Campaign of the Daleks”

The season begins with an attack from the Doctor’s deadliest foes, but instead of taking Earth by force, the Daleks will strike at humanity’s greatest weakness: a short attention span. The hate-filled villains (voiced by Boris Johnson) will write “Exterminate!” on the side of a bus. The pithy catchphrase will shatter the Doctor’s informed arguments and research, forcing millions of citizens to Google “What is a death ray?” long after it’s too late!

Episode 3: “A Companion’s Crusade”

The Doctor meets his new companion Bill (played by Pearl Mackie) and promises her adventure through the centuries and stars. Unfortunately, new travel restrictions prevent the TARDIS from moving more than a few kilometers without having to go through a mountain of paperwork. So it’s up to Bill to show the Doctor the joys of shopping at local businesses and nationalism.

Episodes 5 & 6: “The Cyber Production”

In an epic two-part adventure, the Cybermen return with vengeance programmed into their circuits. This new version of the cyborg rogues are built entirely within the UK (due to trade limitations), so most of their weapons don’t work. They do randomly burst into fire, however, and the Doctor must find a way to fix the chaos with a non-compatible sonic screwdriver.

Episode 8: “Attack From the Past”

The universe comes undone as the UK stops moving forward in time. A council of people from the past—aka senior citizens—suddenly decide they should dictate the lives of tomorrow. To undo this backwards form of decision making, the Doctor must break all known laws of physics by somehow flying his TARDIS faster than the pound is declining in value.

Episode 10: “Listening to Better Angels”

The Weeping Angels, those menacing monsters who only strike when you’re not watching, are able to move much more freely with less EU supervision. Bill must convince the lonely assassins that a lack of oversight has already caused the planet to be lost to other creeping terrors people don’t seem to notice, like pollution, global warming, and racism.

Episodes 11&12: “The Visa of The Doctor”

To stay in the country as an alien refugee, the Doctor must prove both of his hearts are devoutly loyal to the UK. This means we finally learn the Doctor’s real name, as well as his family history and the results of an invasive physical. Watch the epic finale as the Doctor abandons his Gallifreyan culture, fez and sunglasses to fall in line with new headwear laws! Meanwhile, the job of protecting the universe is given to a true citizen instead of a foreigner.

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C.J. Tuor is currently at sea performing with Second City Theatricals.